How much is your Vagina?

Richelle Copon Toledo

Body and Theology

A book review

 

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            After reading the two books about women, the color Purple by Alice Walker and the Red Tent by Anita Diamant, I came to realized that history showed that women were just a possession for men. That women’s bodies are their greatest assets to live a better life.

After my “enlightenment” about women’s liberation from various people in the seminary, it has been my struggle and challenge to share feminism to others, women and men. And it is a hard thing, when your world belongs to patriarchal society. After reading the book – Color Purple, I just thought that I am lucky enough not to be born like Celie or in Celie’s time. The main character of the story is a woman, black in color, born in times where racism against black people was a common thing. Rape by his father, born him two children, which he sold to somebody else. Learn that his “Pa” is not his real father and that his own father was killed by this same “Pa”, their properties was stolen by this same “Pa”. She sacrificed herself to be raped and be abused sexually by this “Pa” for the sake of her younger sister. She never felt love aside from her sister and from  Shug Avery – the one who taught her about God and love. She was force to marry a widowed older man, father of many children to escape her abusive father. After her marriage, nothing had change – she was still abused physically, emotionally and sexually. She worked for her husband’s family and farm as if she was a slave. She endured all of that, for she thought, that was all she deserved. The thought of Celie, thinking that everything happened, all those bad things were all she deserved saddens me. Just thinking of women limiting their mind to think for the opportunities for themselves really proves the oppression or tortures they may have experienced. Women putting a line or a point on where she can go, dream and journey gives me feeling of rebellion. I know even before I learned feminism that women and men, everyone of us, should not be stop to dream, to hope and journey. But the sad truth is, there are really women who are controlled or manipulated and that freedom is nothing to them but just a word, a word for others and not for them.

Lucky for Celie, she met Shug Avery, even though this woman is also black, she is full of confidence and freedom. She shines beauty and happiness. For Celie, she is a goddess. She is a singer, a famous one. And from her, Celie learned the feeling of being loved, that God is everywhere and learn the word freedom and orgasm.

Unfortunately, most women are somehow like Celie, Alice walker showed us that most women are confided in men’s authority, abused by them, oppressed and given limitations. Thank God for Shug Avery, Celie’s life had a different ending. A better ending.

But the story of the Red Tent is a different story.  Anita Diamant, the writer of the novel pointed out how women are classified as a “second class humans” over men in the Old Testament times. The story retell the famous story of Jacob’s journey to Laban’s land, became the husband of all Laban’s daughter. I remember before, I did not have any problem with the story. I believe that if the bible tells it so, then there is no problem, if Jacob’s four wives were sisters, there is nothing wrong with that because it was written in the bible. But after knowing the “feminism in me”, I realized the savagery of the story. But Anita Diamant, in this novel pointed out not just the oppression of women but something more. The Red tent tells me, how Laban’s daughters prove their worth to their father by working hard and doing every chores in their house. But even though the four daughters were doing every single chore in the house, Laban still felt unblessed and cursed for not having a son. Having daughters was not a blessing unless a family has a son!

Jacob found ways to marry all four of Laban’s daughter. His first child is a boy, so he felt blessed and favored. He had 11 sons and only 1 daughter to the four wives. Dinah, is the only daughter of Jacob, and the Red Tent is her story.

The Red Tent in the OT times was a place for women to spend their times during their menstrual period. Women are considered dirty when they were having their menstruation, so they build a tent for them to stay. No one but only the slaves or helper can go there to help the women clean, eat and pray. Here in the Red Tent, Dinah’s mothers shared their stories, their struggles and sacrifices.

 In the OT times, even though women were considered possessions or payment for labor, Dinah had no problems with that, she also suffered the same faith, or even suffered more when her own brother murder her future husband because of power. Then her future mother-in-law demanded that her son will be considered her son for power and better future too. She did anything but watched as all things happened, in control by others.

But lucky to Dinah, her child still acknowledged her as her mother. Her son still loved her even when he is already a powerful man.  And lucky for Dinah too, to found a friend and a sister in her co-midwife who treated her as her own daughter. And the most amazing about the book, is that Dinah found a husband who did not treat her as a possession or slave but only wish for her happiness. The man treated her kindly. Maybe this kind of man was limited in the OT times, and Dinah got one.

Both book tell us that, women are oppressed, women were considered possessions by men and that men are above women. But both stories struggle to fight for the sake of the oppressed and for women. To fight for freedom and respect. To be free from men’s ownership or domination  Both book showed how women’s bodies were considered as a payment. Laban’s daughters were the price for Jacob’s work, while Celie’s body became her shield against her father for the sake of her younger sister as well as for her sake too. The two books also prove that even before, as early as the Old Testament era, there were already women who fight for their liberation. The fight might take too long; the empire of patriarchal society is too powerful to stop for now. Luckily, we are in the era where the battle for women’s liberation is almost claimed. Alice Walker and Anita Diamant, in their book, showed their struggle to fight for women. They declare through their writings that women are human just as human as men. That their vagina are not the parameter of their worth and that their bodies will not tell who they are or what they are. We all know that women have been demonized because of their bodies. That those men can even pay to lure over some woman’s body. That we are limited on what we can do to our body. Masturbation is a mortal sin. Dress codes are required for women especially inside a church. That the way we dress is the reason to blame why we are being rape. That our body, bring us to sin. Every wrong thing in our life starts with our body. And we have to work hard, to maximize what our body can give us to fulfill God’s gift to us such as doing house chores, giving birth, doing sexual responsibilities and everything else about being a mother.

Thank God that today, women are more vigilant to gain domestic partnership and mutual respect. We are now being given choices. We are now not just limited in a mother’s role. We are a little free. We have voices and we are being heard. And for now too, all we can do is to continue that battle of Dinah and Celie, to continue their battle against domination of men and the powerful and to hope that time will come for equality to all.

BATA MAMA and BATA BAHI

Reflection

Mary Anne Tamundong-Calpito

Character of the story

Bata mama- the oldest child

Bata Bahi- the youngest child

Mother- the mother of bata mama and batabahi.and she is the mother who take a hard decision for the safety  of her children even it is so difficult for being a mother

Datu 1 – the good father of Bata Mama and Bata Bahi

Datu2 – the cruel step father of Bata Mama and Bata Bahi

Giant – the one who help Bata Mama and Bata Bahi to slaughter the pig but on that help there is a negative purpose, the giant wants to eat the children.

Crab- the one who serve as saviorof  Bata Mama and Bata Bahi

Reflection:

Life is a choice, that needs a decision to stand and every moment you choose for something,expect consequences either bad orgood outcome. Like what happened to the mother in the story, she chose to marry the brother of her husband after the death her kind husband. On that decision, she come up with a difficult situation of being a good mother to her children or choose her new cruel husband,because if it is not, her children might die. Finally, she decided to choose her new cruel husband in order to save her children. The stepfather wants to go to another place because he doesn’t want to live with the children.

This is only a myth but the story might really happen or is really happening in our context. This situation is rampant, we heard and watched on TV, and we read in the newspaper,many families were broken because of self-interest or self-satisfaction. Whythe mother marry again and has children, mostly children are victims of abuses by the stepfather.  But if the father wants to marry again, even he had children, very rare or minimal events that the children are abused by the stepmother. Why all of these happened? What the bible say about this situation? If we read the Bible, we could not find any passage that tells us about this situation. What we only find is if the man has children and marry again, it’s alright, there is no problem or abuse to occur but we could not find any account of woman have children that marry again.In our context today we find a lot of abuses to children. Is it a sin when the woman having children marry again but not in the case of men. In the Bible we could not find any passage a women marrying again, except from the Samaritan having no children.

Being a mother is not a joke, it is not an easy taskit is full of sacrifices and sometimes misery,especially when the life-styleisnot balance in many aspects.If the partner in life has hierarchical patriarchal mentality,it is hard to live and do something to the family. There are lots of mother in our midst today without freedom.Freedom to show who they are, freedom to show what their capability in the society, and sometimes or almost all time they are victims of being slave, victims of sexual abuse.Being a mother, you give your whole life into service in all aspects.

That is why; women in the society should receive all respect, honor and love, because men cannot live without women. They are not success in life without a woman. They are incomplete person if they are not engage in a woman in their life. Those men who abuse women are absolutely abnormal. And parents who could not care enough for their children aremore than witches.

In all things in this world there is an end.Like what happen to the cruel husband, in the end, he asked forgiveness in what he has done to the children.The end of the story,Bata mama and Bata Bahi never stop until they find their mother until one day, they have encounter in their way a crab whobecame their saviour from the giant, they live with the crab, and they feel care and comfort. Until they maturedand the time comes the crab is so old and near death.She gave her claws witha magic power. The instruction to them is “plant the claws whenever you decided to live and a tree will grow”.After they planted the claws, a big kingdom come up. So everybody issurprised. They become Donya Maria and Don Juan. Finally at the end they found their mother through the powers of claws.

The crabin the story, it represents the protector God who cares and loves a lot for the powerless fighting for their rights. Sometimes or often times, when we feel that we have so many problems, burdensin life that sometimes we want to scape, always remember God is with us. If we believe and recognize his presence, there is no problem too big that God cannot solve it.

Behind the clouds there is sunshine, every time we experience bad things there are always good things after all. Whenever we feel we are tired to do something good never give up.Whenever we feel we are alone, never be sad because God can do anything for those who trust and always give comfort to those who are in sorrow.

In life, we must have strong determination and self-confident to achieve our goals and dreams. We must have the ability to endure. Never lost hope!

Lastly, being obedient to the parent leads to a directed and victorious life, like whathappened to Bata Mama and Bata Bahi. After all in what they had experienced they havecome up into a good and abundant life. It is because they have the ability to listen to what instructed to them. It gives security; hope to reach the best place in the world. It’s very important to have the ability to listenand being a follower.

One thing more, we are all connected in all things and to each and every one. So we must care for our co-creatures, our neighbor.To Love God is to love our neighbor. To love our neighbor is to love nature.Life is precious if there are no exploiters and exploited.

 

 

BATA MAMA and BATA BAHI

(Bukidnon)

Reflection

Mary Anne Tamundong-Calpito

Character of the story

Bata mama- the oldest child

Bata Bahi- the youngest child

Mother- the mother of bata mama and batabahi.and she is the mother who take a hard decision for the safety  of her children even it is so difficult for being a mother

Datu 1 – the good father of Bata Mama and Bata Bahi

Datu2 – the cruel step father of Bata Mama and Bata Bahi

Giant – the one who help Bata Mama and Bata Bahi to slaughter the pig but on that help there is a negative purpose, the giant wants to eat the children.

Crab- the one who serve as saviorof  Bata Mama and Bata Bahi

Reflection:

Life is a choice, that needs a decision to stand and every moment you choose for something,expect consequences either bad orgood outcome. Like what happened to the mother in the story, she chose to marry the brother of her husband after the death her kind husband. On that decision, she come up with a difficult situation of being a good mother to her children or choose her new cruel husband,because if it is not, her children might die. Finally, she decided to choose her new cruel husband in order to save her children. The stepfather wants to go to another place because he doesn’t want to live with the children.

This is only a myth but the story might really happen or is really happening in our context. This situation is rampant, we heard and watched on TV, and we read in the newspaper,many families were broken because of self-interest or self-satisfaction. Whythe mother marry again and has children, mostly children are victims of abuses by the stepfather.  But if the father wants to marry again, even he had children, very rare or minimal events that the children are abused by the stepmother. Why all of these happened? What the bible say about this situation? If we read the Bible, we could not find any passage that tells us about this situation. What we only find is if the man has children and marry again, it’s alright, there is no problem or abuse to occur but we could not find any account of woman have children that marry again.In our context today we find a lot of abuses to children. Is it a sin when the woman having children marry again but not in the case of men. In the Bible we could not find any passage a women marrying again, except from the Samaritan having no children.

Being a mother is not a joke, it is not an easy taskit is full of sacrifices and sometimes misery,especially when the life-styleisnot balance in many aspects.If the partner in life has hierarchical patriarchal mentality,it is hard to live and do something to the family. There are lots of mother in our midst today without freedom.Freedom to show who they are, freedom to show what their capability in the society, and sometimes or almost all time they are victims of being slave, victims of sexual abuse.Being a mother, you give your whole life into service in all aspects.

That is why; women in the society should receive all respect, honor and love, because men cannot live without women. They are not success in life without a woman. They are incomplete person if they are not engage in a woman in their life. Those men who abuse women are absolutely abnormal. And parents who could not care enough for their children aremore than witches.

In all things in this world there is an end.Like what happen to the cruel husband, in the end, he asked forgiveness in what he has done to the children.The end of the story,Bata mama and Bata Bahi never stop until they find their mother until one day, they have encounter in their way a crab whobecame their saviour from the giant, they live with the crab, and they feel care and comfort. Until they maturedand the time comes the crab is so old and near death.She gave her claws witha magic power. The instruction to them is “plant the claws whenever you decided to live and a tree will grow”.After they planted the claws, a big kingdom come up. So everybody issurprised. They become Donya Maria and Don Juan. Finally at the end they found their mother through the powers of claws.

The crabin the story, it represents the protector God who cares and loves a lot for the powerless fighting for their rights. Sometimes or often times, when we feel that we have so many problems, burdensin life that sometimes we want to scape, always remember God is with us. If we believe and recognize his presence, there is no problem too big that God cannot solve it.

Behind the clouds there is sunshine, every time we experience bad things there are always good things after all. Whenever we feel we are tired to do something good never give up.Whenever we feel we are alone, never be sad because God can do anything for those who trust and always give comfort to those who are in sorrow.

In life, we must have strong determination and self-confident to achieve our goals and dreams. We must have the ability to endure. Never lost hope!

Lastly, being obedient to the parent leads to a directed and victorious life, like whathappened to Bata Mama and Bata Bahi. After all in what they had experienced they havecome up into a good and abundant life. It is because they have the ability to listen to what instructed to them. It gives security; hope to reach the best place in the world. It’s very important to have the ability to listenand being a follower.

One thing more, we are all connected in all things and to each and every one. So we must care for our co-creatures, our neighbor.To Love God is to love our neighbor. To love our neighbor is to love nature.Life is precious if there are no exploiters and exploited.

ISLAM

Reported by:

Mary Ann Gabling-Noble

 

Pillars of Faith

            Islam is based on what are called the Five Pillars of Faith consisting of the profession of faith in one God and the practice of the four obligations, namely, praying, alms giving, fasting, and pilgrimage. “There is but one God, Mohammed is the Apostle of God” is the credo of the Muslims, while another Koranic verse says: “Oh ye who believe in God and His Apostles and the Book which He hath sent down to His Apostles and the scripture which He hath sent down formerly. Whosoever denied God and His angels and His books and His apostles and the last day hath stray far from truth.” Islam holds the absolute oneness of God and, in the Koran, God revealed His will to the Apostles who carried and expounded the written message to the rest of the world.

 

  1. 1.    Prayers- Praying, one of the most important obligatory duties of the Muslims, is done five times a day: dawn, noon, after noon, sunset, and night. Women in veils join the congregation during prayers but they stay in rows behind the men.
  2. 2.    Alms Giving- Every believer is also required by the Koran to give alms as a sign of piety and a way to salvation. There are two kinds of alms: obligatory and voluntary.
  3. 3.    Fasting- Fasting is another important obligation. It is done during the Ramadan or the ninth month in which the Koran was revealed. More importantly, the practice to training in conscious patience, charity, and self-control.
  4. 4.    Pilgrimage (Haj)- Pilgrimage is another important obligation a Muslim is expected to visit Mecca and, optionally, the tomb of the Prophet at Medina, at least once in his/her lifetime.

 

Ang pananw ng Arabe bago dumating ang Islam, ang babae ay isang hamak, hindi nagmamana, hindi pinahahalagahan, at walang mga karapatan. Ang marami pa nga sa kanila noon ay naglilibing nang buhay sa kanilang mga anak na babae.

 

Pagkatapos dumating ang Islam upang alisin ang lahat ng kawalang-katarungang ito sa babae at upang linawin na siya at ang lalaki ay pantay. Nagtataglay siya ng mga karapatan gaya ng pagtataglay ng lalaki ng mga karapatan. Nagsabi si Allh (49:13): “O mga tao, tunay na KAmi ay lumikha sa inyo buhat sa isang lalaki at isang babae at gumawa sa inyo na mga pinakamarangal sa inyo para kay Allah ay ang higit na nangingilag sa inyo na magkasala. Tunay na si Allah ay Nakaaalam, Nakababatid.”

Sinabi pa Niya (4:124): “Ang mga gumawa ng mga matuwid- maging lalaki man o babae- habang sila ay sumasampalataya, ang mga iyon ay magsisipasok sa Paraiso at hindi sila gagawan ng kawalang- katarungan ni katiting man.” Sinabi pa Niya (29:8): At tinagubilin Namin ang tao na sa mga magulang ay gumawa ng magaling.” Ang sabi naman ng Sugo (SAS): “Ang pinakaganap ang pananampalataya sa mga mananampalataya ay ang pinakamaganda ang mga asal sa kanila, at ang pinakamabuti sa inyo ay ang  pinakamabuti sa mga maybahay nila.” Nagsasaad din sa Hadith na may isang lalaking nagtanong sa Propeta (SAS): “Sino po sa mga tao ang lalong karapat-dapat sa magandang pakikisama ko?” Nagsabi siya (SAS): “Ang iyong ina.” Nagsabi ito: “Pagkatapos ay sino pa po?” Nagsabi muli siya (SAS): “Ang iyong ina.” Nagsabi muli ito: “Pagkatapos ay sino pa po?” Nagsabi muli siya (SAS): “Ang iyong ina.” Nagsabi muli ito: “Pagkatapos ay sino pa po?” Nagsabi siya (SAS): “Ang iyong ama.” Ito , sa maikling pananalita, ang pananaw ng Islam sa babae.

 

Ang Pangkalahatang Karapatan ng Babaeng Muslimah

  1. Ang karapatang magmay-ari. Karapatang magmay-ari ng anumang naisin niya (kung kaya niya) gaya ng bahay, mga lupain, mga pagawaan, mga pataniman, ginto, pilak, at iba’t ibang mga uri ng hayop- maging siya man ay isang maybahay o isang ina o isang anak o isang kapatid.
  2. Ang karapatang mag-asawa, pumili ng asawa, tumutol na ipakasal sa lalaking ayaw niya, at humingi ng diborsiyo kapag nagdurusa sa piling ng asawa. Ang mga ito ay mga karapatang napagtibay para sa babae.
  3. Ang karapatang matuto ng lahat ng kailangang gampanan niya tulad ng kaalaman kay Allah, patungkol sa pagsamba at kung paano isasagawa ang mga ito, at ang kagandahang asal ukol sa kanya, at mga pag-uugaling mahusay na kailangan taglayin niya, batay sa pangkalahatang kautusang nagsasaad sa sinabi ni Allah (47:19): “Kaya dapat na malaman mo na walang Diyos kundi si Allah,…” sa sa sinasabi ng Sugo (SAS): “Ang paghahanap ng kaalaman ay tungkulin ng bawat Muslim.”
  4. Ang karapatang magkawanggawa ng anumang naisin niya buhat sa ari-arian niya at gumugol buhat ditto para sa sarili niya at para kanino mang naisin.
  5. Ang karapatang magmahal at masuklam, may karapatan siyang mahalin ang mga matutuwid na babe, dalawin, sila pagkalooban sila ng regalo. Maari rin niya silang sulatan, alamin ang kalagayan nila at aliwin sa sandal ng dalamhati nila. Karapatan niya kasuklaman at kamuhian ang mga babaeng tiwali at iwasan sila alang-alang kay Allah.  
  6. Ang karapatang maghabilin ng hanggang sa ikatlong bahagi (1/3) ng ari-arian niya.
  7. Ang karapatang magsuot. May karapatan siyang isuot ang anumang maibigan niya gaya ng seda at ginto- na ipinagbabawal sa mga kalalakihan- ngunit wala siyang karapatang maghubad ng kasuutan, mag-alis ng damit, magsuot ng maiiksing damit, o mag-alis ng bela sa ulo, o palitawin ang leeg at dibdib maliban kung sa harap ng kanyang Mahram.
  8. Ang karpatang magpaganda para sa asawa. Maaari siyang gumamit ng eye-liner, pulbos lipstick at iba pang make-up kung ibig niya; magsuot ng pinakamaganda at pinakamarikit na mga hiyas maliban sa mga damit na kilalang gamit ng mga hindi Musllimah o kilalang gamit ng mga kalapating mababa ang lipad, hindi niya isusuot ang mga ito upang malayo sa pagiging tampulan ng tukso.
  9. Ang karapatan sa pagkain at inumin. Sinabi ni Allah (7:31): “…At magsikain at magsiinom kayo ngunit huwag mag-aksaya; tunay na Siya ay hindi nagmamahal sa mga nag-aaksaya.” Sumasaklaw ang mga talatang ito sa kapwa babae at lalake.

 

Ang mga Karapatan ng Babae sa Asawa Niya

                Kabilang sa mga natatanging karapatan ng babae ay ang mga karapatan niya sa kanyang asawa. Ang mga karapatan na iyon na gagampanan para sa katumbas ng mga itinakdang tungkulin niya sa kanyang asawa, tulad ng pagtalima sa asawa sa mga bagay na hindi pagsuway kay Allah o sa Sugo (SAS), paghahanda ng pagkain nito at inumin, pag-aayos ng bahay, pagpapasuso sa mga anak nito at pag-aalaga sa kanila, pag-iingat sa kanyang mga ari-arian at karangalan, pangangalaga sa sarili niya, pagpapaganda at paggamit ng pampaganda para sa ikasisiya ng asawa, na mga ipinahihintulot na iba’t ibang uri ng mga pampaganda.

 

Mga karapatan ng babae na tungkuling gampanan ng lalaki sa kanya batay sa sinasabi ni Allah (2:228): “…At sila na mga babae ay may karapatang katulad ng tungkulin nila ayon sa kung ano ang makatuwiran…”

 

  1. Ang pagsustento sa maybahay ayon sa kalagayan ng asawa
  2. Ang pangangalaga sa kanya.
  3. Ang pagtuturo sa kanya kinakailangang mga kaalaman tungkol sa pananampalataya.
  4. Ang mabuting pakikitungo sa kanya dahil ang sabi ni Allah (4:19): “…At pakitunguhan ninyo sila ayon sa kung ano ang nakabubuti…” Kabilang din sa mabuting pakikitungo sa kanya ay ang hindi ipagkakait sa kanya ang karapatan niya sa pagtatalik, at ang hindi siya saktan sa pamamagitan ng panlalait o pang-iinsulto o paghamak o pagmaliit.  “Walang nagpaparangal sa mga babae kundi marangal at walang humahamak sa kanila kundi hamak.” (SAS)

 

Ang Hijab- Isinabatas ni Allah ang Hijab para sa babae bilang pagpaparangal sa kanya, upang pangalagaan ang kanyang karangalan laban sa kadustaan at kahihiyan, upang ilayo siya sa panlliligalig ng mga buktot at mga halang ang kaluluwa, upang ipagsanggalang siya laban sa mga taong hindi kumikilala sa halaga at kabuluhan ng kagandahang asal, upang bakuran ang kanyang dignidad at ang kanyang puri ng muog ng paggalang at pagpapahalaga.

                Nagkaisa na ang mga pantas ng Islam na, maliban pa sa mukha at mga kamay, ang buong katawan ng isang babae magmula sa ulo ay kailangang takpan at hindi ipakikita, at tungkulin niyang hindi ilahad ang kagandahang pang-akit niya sa harap ng mga lalaking di-Mahram at di-kaanu-ano.

 

Ito ang Ilan sa Kanilang mga Patunay

                Sinabi ni Allah (33:53): “Kapag tatanungin ninyo sila hinggil sa isang bagay ay tanungin ninyo sila sa likod ng Hijab. Iyan ang higit na dalisay para sa inyong mga puso at sa mga puso nila.”

                Sinabi pa Niya  (33:59): “O Propeta, sabihin mo sa iyong mga maybahay at sa iyong mga anak na babae at sa mga kababaihan ng mga Mananamplataya na ilaylay nila ang kanilang mga balabal sa mga katawan nila. Iyan ang lalong angkop nang sa gayon ay makilala sila upang hindi sila pinsalain. At si Allah ay laging Mapagpatawad , Maawain.”

 

                Ipinagbabawal din ng Islam sa babae ang makihalubilo sa mga kalalakihang hindi niya Mahram. Ang lahat ng ito ay upang pangalagaan ang moralidad, ang pamilya, at ang dangal. Ang Islam ay nagsisigasig sa pag-iingat at sa pagpipinid sa mga pinto ng tukso at udyok sa immoralidad. Ang paglabas ng babae, ang kanyang pakikihalubilo sa mga kalalakihan at ang pag-aallis niya ng Hijab ay siyang umaantig sa hilig ng laman, nagpapadali sa pagkakaroon ng mga dahilan para gumawa ng krimen at gumagawa sa krimen ng madaliang dahilan maabot. Nagsasabi si Allah (33:33): Manatili kayo sa inyong mga bahay at huwag ninyong itanghal ang inyong alindog gaya ng pagtatanghal ng alindog noong unang panahon ng kamangmangan.” Sinabi pa Niya (33:53): “Kapag tatanungin ninyo sila hinggil sa isang bagay ay tanungin ninyo sila sa likod ng hijab. Iyan ang higit na dalisay para sa inyong puso at sa kanilang puso.”

                Mariing ipinagbawal ng Sugo (SAS) ang paghahalubilo ng mga lalaki at mga babae at hinadlangan niya ang lahat ng bagay  maaaring mauwi sa paghahalubilo, pati na sa larangan ng mga pagsamba at sa mga pook sambahan. Maari siyang lumabas ng bahay sa kondisyong isasaalang-alang ang mga limitasyong iniatang ng Islam. Dapat suot ang kasuutang inaayunan ng Islam, natatakpan at hindi nakalitaw ang kagandahan iya, at nakahiwalay sa mga lalaki at hindi nakikihalubilo sa  kanila.

 

Ang Mga Alituntunin sa Regla

  1. 1.       Ang Salah- Ipinagbabawal sa isang may regal na magsagawa ng Salah na Fard o Sunnah at hindi ito matatanggap mula sa kanya.
  2. 2.       Ang Pag-aayuno- Ipinagbabawal sa isang may regal na mag-ayuno ng pag-aayunong Fard o Sunnah at hindi ito mattanggap sa kanya, ngunit kailangang magsagawa siya ng Qada para sa pag-aayuno sa Ramadan na hindi niya napag-aayunan.
  3. 3.       Ang Pagsagawa ng Tawaf
  4. 4.       Ang Pananatili sa masjid
  5. 5.       Ang Pakikipagtalik
  6. 6.       Ang Diborsiyo- ipinagbabawal sa isang lalaki na diborsiyuhin niya ang kanyang maybahay sa panahong ng pagreregla nito. Kung diniborsiyo niya ito habang may regal ito, sinuway na niya si Allah at ang Sugo (SAS) at nakagawa siya ng isang ipinagbabawal.
  7. 7.       Ang Paligo

 

Ang Pampigil ng Regla at ng Pagbubuntis

  • Ang paggamit ng isang babae ng gamot na pampigil refla ay ipinahihintulot kapag walang kinatatakutang kapinsalaang maaaring mangyayari sa kanya, pero pag wala ay pinahihintulot. May kapahintulutan ng kanyang asawa kung ang paggamit nito ay may makakaapekto sa kanyang asawa.
  • Ang paggamit ng pamparegla ay ipinahihintulot alinsunod sa dalawang kundisyon: Una, ang kapahintulutan ng asawa. Pangalawa, na ang layunin ng paggamit ay hindi upang takasan ang mga tungkuling panrelihiyon gaya halimbawa ng paggamit nito upang takasan ang pag-aayuno sa buwan ng Ramadan, ang pagsasagawa ng Salah at iba pa.
  • Ang paggamit ng pampapigil sa pagbubuntis (contraceptive) ay dalawang uri:
  1. Ang anumang permamenteng makapipigil sa pagbubuntis ay hindi pinahihintulot.
  2. Ang anumang pansamanatalang makapipigil sa pagbubuntis ay ipinahihintulot. Hal. Ipinahihintulot sa kundisyon na may kapahintulutan ng kanyang asawa at wala itong kapinsalaang maidudulot sa kanya.

 

Mga Kondisyon sa Kasal

  1. Ang pagsang-ayon ng lalake at babae-  Ipinagbawal ng Islam na ipaasawa ang isang babae kung walang pagsang-ayon niya.Hindi pinahihintulutan ang sinuman, kahit na ang ama, na siya ay pilitin.
  2. 2.       Ang wali* - Hindi matatanggap ang kasal kapag wala ang wali ng babae ayon sa sinabi ng Propeta (SAS): “Hindi matatanggap ang kasal kapag walang wali.” Ang wali ay kailangang nasa wastong gulang (15 taong gulang o higit pa), may wasto at sapat na pag-iisip, at isang lalaking kabilng sa mga lalaking kamag-anakan ng babae. Ang mga maaaring maging wali ng babae ay mga kalalakihang Muslim lang gaya ng ama, lolo, tiyuhin at iba pa. Ang dahilan kung bakit kailangang may ang isang babae ay upang hadlangang gawing dahilan ang kasal para gumawa ng pangangalunya* sapagkat magagawa ang isang lalaking may balak mangalunya na sabihin sa babae na: “ipakasal mo ang iyong sarili sa aki”  at mapasang-ayon ang babae na magpakasal sa kanyan na walang wali. At ang kasal na illegal na ito ay maari pang saksihan ng dalawa sa kanyang kaibigan o ng ibang tao p ara magmukhang legal.
  3. 3.       Ang dalawang lalaking saksi- kailangang saksihan ng mga lalaking Muslim na makatarungan, dalawa o higit pa, ang pagdaraos ng kasal.
  4. 4.       Ang obligasyong magbigay ng mahr*- Ang mainam sa mahr ay ang maliit na halaga at ang lalong maliit ay mas lalong mainam. Ang mahr ay tinatawag dign sadaq. Itinatagubiling banggitin ang halaga o uri ng mahr sa pagdaraos ng kat ibigay kaagad sa sandaling iyon. Maari ring ibigay ang mahr o ang nalalabing bahagi nito sa napagkasunduang panahon matapos na mairaos ang kasal. Kung sakaling diniborsiyo ng lalaki ang kanyang maybahay bago may namagitang pagtatalik sa kanila, kukunin ng babae ang kalahati ng mahr. At kung sakali namang namatay ang lalaki bago may namagitang pagtatalik sa kanya at sa babae matapos mairaos ang kasal, may karapatan ang babae na magmamana sa lalaking ito at ang buong mahr ay mapupunta sa kanya.

 

                               *Ang kasal sa Islam ay magaganap matapos na magkasundo ang lalaki at ang wali ng babae sa kondisyong sasang-ayon din ang babae.

 

Ang Ilang Resulta ng Pag-aasawa

  1. 1.       Ang Pagsusustento- tungkulin ng asawang sustentuhan sa pagkain, pananamit, at tirahan ang kanyang maybahay, ayon sa kanyang kakayahang financial.
  2. 2.    Ang Pagmamana- Kapag nakasal nang tunay ang lalaki’t babae, magkakaroon ng karapatan ang bawat isa sa kanila na magmana kapag namatay ang alin man sa kanila ayon sa sinabi ni Allah” “ May karapatan kayo sa kalahati ng mga naiwan ( na ari-arian) ng inyong mga maybahay kung wala silang anak; subalit kung may naiwan silang anak, mapupunta sa inyo ang ika-apat na bahagi ng naiwan nila matapos ikaltas ang isang pamanang kanilang isinaad sa huling habilin o ang pambayad utang. At may karapatan sila ( mga maybahay) sa ika-apat na bahagi ng mga naiwan (na ari-arian) ninyo kung wala kayong anak; subalit kung may naiwa kayong anak, mapupunta sa kanila ang ika-walaong bahagi ng naiwan ninyo matapos ikaltas ang isang pamanang inyong isinaad sa huling habilin o ang pambayad ng utang…” (4:12) Kaya nagtalik man sila o hindi, nagsama man sila o hindi; magmamamana pa rin sila sa isa’t isa.

 

MGa Tagubilin at Kagandahang Asal Para sa Pag-aasawa

  1. 1.       Itinatagubilin ibigay alam ang kasal at itinatagubilin ding ipanalangin ang bagong kasal at sabihin sa lalaki o sa babae: “Pagpalain ka ni Allah at nawa’y pagsamahin niya kayo sa ginhawa.”
  2. 2.       Itinatagubilin sa mag-asawa na sabihin ang panalanging ito sa tuwing bago magtatalik: “allahumma jannibnash shaytana wa jannibish shaytana ma razaqna.” ( Tagalog: “O Allah, ilayo Mo po si Satanas sa amin at ilayo mo pa siya sa anak na ipagkakaloob Mo s a amin.”
  3. 3.       Kasuklam-suklam para sa mag-asawa na ipagsabi nila ang mga bagya-bagay tungkol sa kanilang pagtatalik.
  4. 4.       Ip[inagbabawal (haram) sa lalaki na makipagtalik sa kanyang maybahay kung ito ay may regal o nifas at hanggang hindi ito nakakapaligo matapos mahkaroon ng regal o nifas.
  5. 5.       Ipinagbabawal na makipagtalik sa butas g puwit ng babae sapagkat ito ay isa sa mga kasalanang mortal na ipinagbabawal ni Allah.
  6. 6.       Hindi pinahihintulutang gumamit ng contraception ang babae kung walang kapahintulutan ng kanyang asawa, kung makasasama sa kanya, at kung hindi naman talagang kailangan. Hindi rin maaaring gamitin ang withdrawal method* kung walang kapahintulutan ng maybahay at kung hindi naman talagang kailangan.

 

Ang mga Katangian ng Maybahay

            Ang pag-aasawa ay may dalawang layunin: para sa ikasisisya ng mag-asawa at para sa pagbuo ng mabuting pamilya at malusog na lipunan. Alinsunod ditto, ang babaeng nararapat asawahin ay ang babaeng makatutugon sa dalawang layuning ito. Ang babaeng ito ay nagtataglay ng panlabas at panloob na kagandahan. Ang kagandahang panlabas ay ang kagandahang anyo niya samantala naman ang kagandahang panloob naman ay ang kanyang pagsunod sa kanyang pananampalataya at ang kagandahang asal. Kung may katangian ito ng isang babae, ito ang tunay na kaganapan at kaligayahang kaloob ni Allah. Dapat maging masigasig ang babae sa pagpili ng mabuting lalaki at may takot sa Diyos.

 

Ang mga Babaeng Bawal Maging Asawa ng Isang Lalaki

 

  1. 1.    Ang mga babaeng ipinagbawal maging asawa ng isang lalaki kung kadugo niya ito (kamag-anak). Ang pangalawa ay dahil sa gatas (kamag-anak sa gatas) at pangatlo, dahil naging mga asawa ng mga malapit na Kamag-anak.
  2. Ang mga babeng pansamantalang ipinagbawal na maging asawa  ay kung nagsasagawa ng hajj o umrah.

 

Ang Deborsiyo

            Ang deborsiyo sa Islam ay isang kasuklam-suklam na bagay at ayon  sa Hadith: “Sa lahat ng ipinahintulot ang diborsiyo ang kasuklam-suklam kay Allah.” Kung minsan ang diborsiyo ay hindi maiiwasan bunga na rin ng kapinsalaang naidudulot sa babae sa pananatili niya sa piling ng lalaki o bunga na rin ng kapinsalaang dulot ng babae sa lalaki o kung maging ano pa man ang layunin o dhilan, isang malaking kagandahang loob buhat kay Allah na KAnyang ipinahintulot ang diborsiyo sa Kanyang mga lingkod. Pero kung kinsusuklaman ng lalaki ang kanyang maybahay at hindi na niya matiis na makapiling ito, wlang masama kung diborsiyuhin niya ito subalit isaalang-alang niya ang mga sumusunod:

  1. Na hindi niya didiborsiyuhin ang kanyang maybahay habang ito’y may regal. Kapag diniborsiyo niya habang ito ay may regal, sinuway niya si Allah at ang Sugo (SAS) at nakagawa siya ng isang ipinagbabawal.
  2. Na hindi niya didiborsiyuhin ang kanyang maybahay sa panahong ito ay wala ng regla ngunit nakipagtalik ito ay wala ng regla ngunit nakipagtalik naman siya rito sa panahon ding ito hanggang hindi niya natitiyak na ito’y nagdadalang-tao ohanggang sa ito ay hindi nagkaroon muli ng regal at saka natapos ang reglang ito.

 

Ang deborsiyo sa Islam ay ginawa bilang panghuling solusyon upang wakasan ang mga alitan ng mag-asawa kapag naghari na ang mga di-pagkakasundo sa kanila, maging madalas na ang pag-aaway, nanlamig na sila sa isa’t isa, at nawala na ang pag-asang sila ay magkasundo anupa’t nawalan na ng halaga at kabuluhan ang relasyon nila bilang mag-asawa.  Kapag nagkagayon, ang diborsiyo ay magsisilbing maginhawang lunas para sa kanilng dalawa.  Tagubilin ni Allah: “Magtalaga kayo ng isang tagahatol buhat sa pamilya ng lalaki at isang tagahatol buhat sa pamilya ng babae. Kung kapwa nila nais na muling magkasundo, pagkakasunduin silang dalawa ni Allah.”            

 

Ang Pag-aasawa ng Hindi Muslim

                Hindi pinahihintulutan ang isang babaeng Muslim na mag-asawa ng isang lalaking hindi Muslim. Hindi din pinahihintulutan na makipagtalik sa kanyang asawang hindi Muslim. Ang pagdami ng mga asawang Kristiyano sa loob ng lipunang Muslim ay isang mapanganib na bagay. Ang panganib nito ay dala ng panghihina ng sambayanang Muslim kaalinsabay ng pagtaas ng pamumuhay ng mga bansang Kristiyano. Ang mga babeng ito sa ganitong kalagayan ay nagsisilbing mga sugo ng mapanganib na pananakop pangkaisipan sa loob ng sambayanang Muslim na magbubunga ng pagkasira at pagkawasak nito. Dahil ang kaugaliang Kristiyano ay nakikihalubilo sa mga kalalakihan at mga kababaihan kalakip na rito ang mga halos hubad ng mga kasuutan at mga gawaing salungat sa mga katuruan ng Islam.           

 

Ang Takot kay Allah

                Ang babae sa kanyang tahanan, kapag nag-iisa at walang nagmamasid sa kanya, ay maaaring makagawa ng hindi mabuti kapag siya ay nakadama ng pangangailangang seksuwal habang wala ang kanyang asawa. Ngunit ang pag-alala lamang kay Allah ay sapat na upang siya ay manginig sa takot at mangamba.

 

Ang Katarungan sa mga Asawa

                Ipinahintulot ng Islam ang polygyny, pero mayroong kondisyon. Ang kondisyong ito ay tungkol sa isyu ng katarungan sa mga asawa. Pinaaalalahanan ng Islam ang isang Muslim na mag-isip-isip muna nang matagal bago maglakas-loob na pasukin ang polygyny. Ang sabi ni Allah sa banal na Our’an: “Mag-asawa kayo ng mga babaeng kinalulugdan ninyo; dalawa o tatlo o apat. Subalit kung kayo ay nangangambang hindi magiging makatarungan, isa na lamang.”

                May mga pangangailangang nagbubunsod sa polygyny. At ang mga pangangailangang ito ay maaaring personal tulad halimbawa ng isang lalaking may asawang baog o may karamdaman o matigas ang ulo o mahabang magregla o ang isang babae ay hindi sapat upang punan ang kanyang pangangailangang seksuwal. Maitatanong natin ano kaya ang mabuti sa maybahay na ito, ang siya’y manatili sa piling ng kanyang asawa at ito nama’y mag-asawa ng iba pa o hiwalayan na lamang siya?

                Ang tin gin ng Pantas sa Polygyny na nagmungkahi ng lunas na siyang lubusang makapagpapagaling ditto sa usapin na ito. Ang lunas, wika niya, ay “Pahintulutan ang lalaking mag-asawa ng higit sa isa. At sa pamamagitan nito ay maglalaho ang kalamidad at ang ating mga anak na babae ay  magiging reyna ng tahanan.” IKa naman ng isang bantog na Alemang philosopher na si Schopenhauer sa kanyang aklat: “Ang babaeng buhat sa mga bansang ipinahihintulot ang polygyny ay hindi nawawalan ng asawang kakalinga sa kanya samanatalang ang mga babaeng may asawa ditto sa atin ( Alemanya) ay kakaunti at ang walang asawa ay hindi mabilang. Makikita mong wala silang tagakalinga. May mga babaeng buhat sa mataas na antas ng lipunan na tumandang dalaga nang tuliro at nagdurusa. At may mga mahihinang nialang buhat sa mababang antas ng lipunan na nagdaranas ng mga hirap at nagtitiis ng mabibigat na Gawain. At baka magbili pa sila ng aliw at mamuhay nang miserable, nakalubog sa kahihiyan at kadustahan. Sa Langsod lamang ng London ay may walong libong mga kalapating mababa ang lipad .”   

Nalathala sa pahayagang Al-Ahram (isang bantog na pahayagan sa Egipto) na may petsang Disyembre 13, 1960 na “May natuklasang dokumentong sulat-kamay ni Martin Burma na kanang kamay ni Hitler, na sinulat noong taong 1944. Ang sabi niya: “’Pinag-iisipan nang mabuti ni Hitler na pahintulutan ang lalakeng Aleman na mag-asawa nang legal ng dalawa upang magarintiyahan ang hinaharap ng lakas ng sambayanang Aleman.” Nagkaroon ng demonstrasyong ginawa ang mga kababaihan sa Alemanya pagkatpos ng ikalawang digmaang pandaigdigan noong 1945. Ang demonstrasyong ito ay ang gumawa ng batas na magpapahintulot sa isang lalaki na magkaroon ng maraming asawa nang sa gayon ay mapangalagaan ang babaeng Aleman sa prostitusyon.

 

References:

Mga Pinaniniwalaan sa Islam

F.G.O. sa Zulfi, 11932

 

Ang Pag-aasawa sa Islam

F.G.O. sa Zulfi, 11932

“THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY” (Reflection)

 

Mary Ann Gabling-Noble

 

Ang isang taong naghahanap ng kaligayan at kalinga sa buhay ay walang makapaghahadlang kahit sinuman. Ang tingin ng iba kung minsan ay napakanegatibo napakasamang babae ang husga ng  lipunan sa mga babaeng may asawa na nakipagtalik o nakipagrelasyon sa ibang lalaki. Subalit hindi naman nila kayang tugunan ang mga pangangailangan ng babae gaya ni Francesca.

 

Hinahangaan ko ang pagiging totoo ni Francesca, dahil kahit minsan ay hindi niya niloko ang kanyang sarili at ginawa lamang niya ang nararapat. Hindi naman niya pinagsisihan ang lahat na naging desisyon niyang mahalin ang isang lalaking magpapasaya at magpapadama ng tunay na pagmamahal at pagkalinga, sapagkat kagustuhan niya ito na siyang nagpalaya sa kanyang katauhan bilang isang babae. Matagal ding panahon na nakulong siya sa apat na sulok ng kanilang bahay para pagsilbihan ang kanyang pamilya. Maging ang kanyang kaligayan at pagsasaayos ng kanyang sarili ay nakalimutan na niya. Sa paglipas ng panahon, marami ang nasayang na kaya niyang iambag sa lipunang kinabibilangan gaya ng pagtuturo at pangunguna sa mga kababaihang hindi nakakaramdam ng tunay na kaligayahan ng buhay. Ito ang naging resulta ng patriarchal na pananaw ng kanilang lipunan. Ang unang naaapektuhan sa ganitong kalagayan ay ang mga kababaihan na laging biktima sa ganitong sistema.

 

Laging nag-iisa si Francesca sa kanilang bahay at kung dumating man ang kanyang pamilya ay walang pinagkaiba. Kaya napakapalad niya noong dumating si Robert sa kanyang buhay kahit sabihin man nating apat na araw lang ang pagsasama, subalit nakapagbigay ng malagintong karanasan na hindi kayang ibigay ni Richard bilang asawa. Masagi man ang anumang parte ng kanyang katawan ay nakakaramdam ng pananabik sa init ng romansa. Kaya hindi niya pinakawalan ang panahon para maipadama niya kay Robert ang kanyang pagmamahal at upang lumigaya. Lahat nabago noong napaibig siya kay Robert, nagising siya sa katotohanan sa tunay niyang kanyang kagandahan maging sa kanyang sekswalidad para kahit papaano ay mapasaya niya ang kanyang buhay bilang isang babae. Malalakas na halakhak at masasarap na ngiti ang nailalabas niya habang kausap si Robert. Walang pakialam sa paligid basta eni-enjoy niya ang lahat na pangyayari. Ito ang epekto ng laging nag-iisa sa isang sulok o lugar at walang masyadong nakakausap. Sabihin niya lahat ang nararamdaman niya at kumilos kung anong alam niya,  basta masaya siya at nailalabas niya ang pagiging stress sa mga gawaing bahay at pagsasaka.

 

Isang napakabuting ina, asawa at kaibigan si Francesca. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit lubusang nahulog ang loob ni Robert sa kanya. Pero hindi ito nakikita ni Richard na mismong asawa niya dahil decoration lang ang tingin niya kay Francesca. Ni hindi man lang niya tanungin sa asawa kung anong pangangailangan, nararamdaman at ano ang gusto din sa buhay. Walang pakialam na asawa, wala man lang pakiramdam kung anong kasiyahan din ng asawa sa buhay niya. Sa ilang araw na malayo sila sa isa’t isa wala man lang akong maramdamang pananabik niya sa kanyang asawa. Ni halikan at hagkan ay wala, maslalo na sa pagtatalik. Actually, si Rico pag-ilang araw na hindi kami magkasama ay agad na ipinaparamdam sa akin ang pananabik niya lalo ang pagtatalik dahil napakasarap at nakakagaan ng loob. Hindi ko rin sinasayang ang mga pagkakataong pareho kaming manabik at magtagumpay sa aming mga hangarin bilang mag-asawa.

 

 Ang buhay ng tao ay nangangailangan din ng pagtatalik hindi puro trabaho na lang. Malaking tulong ito para mas mapalapit ang relasyon ng bawat isa. Hindi dapat nawawala ang pananabik sa  pagtatalik sa mag-asawa dahil nagpapatatag ng partnership sa pagkilos para bukas. Hindi din pwedeng ,dahil gusto ng asawang lalaki ay ararro agad kundi napag-uusapan din at ikinasisiya ang bagay na ito. Huwag namang ipagdamot kundi palayain at bigyan ng halaga para sa kasiglahan ng pagmamahalan, na wala sinumang makakapigil ang kasabikan ng mag-irog.

 

Pero ang pumigil sa kanyang kasiglahan at kagandahan ay ang  pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga sa kanyang dalawang anak. Napakabigat sa saloobin niyang maghiwalay sila ni Robert dahil iba ang pinili niya. Kung mayroon sanang taong nakakaalam sa kanyang sitwasyon at damdamin gaya ng mga nakakaunawa sa damdamin ni Francesca ay malaya niya sigurong piniling sumama kay Robert? Maslalong nagtiis at nabigatan ang kanyang damdamin sa tunay na kalagayan dahil hanggang sa pagtanda pinagsilbihan niya ang kanyang asawa at mga anak na may kulang. Kahit ganun paman ay hindi siya sumuko para makasama muli si Robert. Pinakiusap na ang kanyang abo ay ibuhos sa bridges, natupad naman ito dahil naunawaan ng kanyang mga anak ang kanyang damdamin bilang isang ina. Mas hinangaan nila ang kanilang Ina at natutu sila sa katotohanan, at gusto rin nilang itama ang mali, sinimulan nila ito sa kanilang sarili sa pamamagitan ng pagmamahal sa pamilya.

 

Naaawa ako sa mga kababaihang wala man lang mapagsabihan ng kanilang damdamin at mapaglabasan ng sama ng loob. Dahil dito ay hindi makalaya sa patriarchal na sistema ng lipunan  ang mga kababaihan. Ang alam kasi natin ay dapat paglingkuran ng buong buhay ang asawa, mga anak at forget our choice. Kumusta naman tayo kung laging mayhadlang sa mga desisyon natin? Tama din, mahalaga ang mga anak dahil galing ito sa atin at hindi natin maiiwan, pero kung ito’y nakakaunawa at malalakina siguro huwag matakot sabihin kung ano ang nararamdaman?

 

Sa karanasan ko sa aking nanay, hindi niya kayang iwan ang kanyang pamilya dahil sa amin na mga anak niya. Forget ang tatay, basta’t inaalala ang anak. Karamihan na ina ay ganito talaga ang nagiging desisyon lalo na pag-irisponsable ang asawang lalaki. Bahala nang maghirap at mabigatan ang loob ng isang nanay, huwag lang ang mga anak! Ganyan ka super woman ang mga nanay, kaya nararamdaman ko din ang naging desisyon ni Francesca. Pero huli narin ang lahat, noong namatay na ang kanyang asawa saka palang niya isipang balikan si Robert sa bridges na iyon. Pero hanga ako dahil sa haba ng panahong bumalik siya sa tulay na iyon ay hindi nagbago ang kanyang pananabik na makita si Robert. Nakikita parin sa kanyang mga mukha ang pag-asang mahahagkan niya muli si Robert at kaganadahan ng kanyang pagmamahal ay naroon parin at uhaw sa halik.

 

Apat na araw na kasiglahan at kasiyahan ay hindi kailanman masusuklihan ng anumang yaman sa mundo. Ang mga alaala ay walang sinumang magbubura nito sa piling nina Francesca at Robert dahil sila’y biniyayain din Dios ng tunay na damdamin at pagpapahalaga sa bawat isa upang namnamin at damhin ang init ng halik at sarap ng pagtatalik na halos ayaw tuldukan.

 

Para sa akin, idinadalngin ko na lahat na mga may-asawa ay gaya ng pagmamahalan, pananabik, pagkalinga at maligayang pagtatalik ang maranasan nawa ng bawat babae at lalaki sa kanilang mga partner in life. Hindi nagsisisi at walang pag-aalinlangan na gawin kung ano ang tama basta’t nakakabuti ito sa lahat hindi sa iilan lang.

SIGNS OF THE PLANTING SEASON

( Bukidnon)

(Refelection)

Mary Ann Gabling-Noble

 

Character of the Woman

            * Walang pangalan ang asawa ni Magbangal. Mahilig magluto para ihandog sa asawa na lagi namang tinatanggihan. Masunurin sa asawa at maalalahanin na siyang dahilan kung bakit sinuway din niya minsan ang kanyang asawa dahil pumunta siya sa kakahuyan na kung saan andon si Magbangal. Hindi niya kayang ipaglaban ang kanyang kaisipan na samahan si Magbangal para maglinis sa kalupaan nila.  Hindi alam ang kakayanan ng asawa na may powers pala ito na kahit nakahiga lang at may mga gamit na magtratrabaho para sa kanya. Siya ang sinisisi ni Magbangal na nakatingin sa kanyang pagkatulog, kaya naputol ang kanyang kamay. Ginawa siyang isda ng kanyang asawa dahil sa galit nito. Hindi marunong magreklamo kahit gawin na siyang isda at kahit pinapagalitan na walang kadahi-dahilan. Nanginginig sa takot sa asawa dahil pinagalitan at pinarusahan sa pagsuway nito.

 

Relation to a Man

            * Sunudsunuran at hindi kayang ipaglaban kung ano ang gusto niyang gawin sa buhay niya. Asawa at siya ang magiging dahilan ng pagkaputol ng kanyang kamay sa paglabag sa kautusan ng asawa. Siya ang nasa ibaba at sa maskailaliman pa ng tubig at under ng sky na si Magbangal.

 

Values Promoted/ Culture beliefs

            * Ang values at kultura na pinaniniwalaan ng bukidnon sa kwento ay magpasakop ang asawang babae sa lalaki dahil mas makapangyarihan ito. Kinikilala ang Magbangal na siyang sinyales ng pagtatanim. Bukidnon identify the seasons and arrange their field work because of the position of the bodies in the skies named Magbangal.

            * Ang Bukidnon ay mayroong matabang lupa at magandang panahon kaya mayaman sa agrikultura ang bukidnon.

            * Samantala ang mga kababaihan ay sa bahay lang at hindi ito sinasama sa bukid.

 

Critique/ Affirmation

            * Ang kwento ay hindi makakatotohanan para sa akin. Kung literal na pang-unawa na pwedeng maging ulap ang lalaki at isda ang babae ay mahirap paniwalaan. Pero hindi naman ganun ang punto ng kaisipan ng mga kababaihan sa kwentong ito. Ipinapahayag lang ng may akda kung gaano kababa ang papel ng babae sa lipunan lalo na sa asawa. Kung ano ang gusto ni Magbangal sa asawa ay agad na nangyayari dahil siya ang may power, rights at maskilala.

            * Ang asawang babae ay mahirap kilalanin lalo na’t walang pangalan, hindi direkta para sa kanya. Sigurado ako lalaki din ang gumawa ng kwento at patriarchal ang iniisip o kaya’y kaugalian talaga nila ito. Wala na ngang pangalan ginawa pang isda at nasa kailaliman pa ng tubig. Kung aahon ito at tutungtung sa lupa ng ilang minuto patay ang isda, kaya pinapatay ang karapatan ng babae na mamuhay ng sapat at kapantay ng lalaki dito sa lupa.

            * Ang kakayahan ng babae ay mas higit pa sa kakayahan ng lalaki kung ito’y tanggap sa  lipunan. Kung ito’y magkatuwang at nagtutulungan ay malaki ang nagagawa nito sa sambayanan para mapa-unlad at mabago ang kaayusan ng mag-asawa at ng lipunan. Gaya ng kakayahan ni Magbangal at ng kanyang asawa na magaling magluto ay magkasama, halimbawa nalang sa mga magsasaka na nagluluto si Misis ng pagkain samantalang nagtatanim ng palay sa Mr, sabay silang gumagawa kaya sabay din nilang aanihin at pakinabangan ang kanilang pinagpaguran at makakatulong pa sila sa iba. Ang kagandahan nito, mas lalago ang relasyon at partnership nilang mag-asawa para sa katagumpayan ng kanilang gawain para sa bayan din. Dahil kung maunlad ang isang pamilya ay gayundin ang bayan na kanilang kinabibilangan. Kaya ang bukidnon ay maulad dahil sa kasigasigan ng mga mamamayan hindi dahil kay Magbangal.

 

            * Hanggat patuloy ang kaisipang ang babae ay mababa ang papel sa asawa at walang boses sa lipunan ay hindi lalaya ang ating bansa. Dahil isa ito sa nakikita kong dahilan ng pagiging atrasado ng pag-unlad ng ating bansa. Hamon din sa atin bilang mga propeta ng panahon na hindi magpatali sa patriarchal na sistema ng ating lipunan. Challenge din sa akin bilang asawa na hindi dapat magpa-under sa asawa dahil sa kamulatang ipinamahagi sa akin.

 

Reflection of ‘The Bridge of Madison County’

HYOUNSOOK PARK(RACHEL)

20 years ago I received a book named ‘The Bridge of Madison County’  by 40 years old lady. She was owner of the bookstore, and she said that book is this month’s best seller. It was written on the book cover ‘story of pure love’. I read the book with expectation because I was about to marry in that time. But that book was not the book I expected. That book was not about pure love. It was story of a woman with family goes out with some guy she ever met. I wondered why did she give me this book? Why this kind of book is a best seller? And after my marriage, this book was made by movie. I didn’t expected that much, but I watched it because others said, it is well-made movie. But that movie still came to me as a story of woman going out with some guy. And in the scene of when woman avoids to go to  Robert’s car, I thought that she should avoid it because she is a mother and also a wife.

Love is natural to everyone before marriage, but after the marriage women have a mind of loving husband only. Women usually hesitate to have a love which is only 1 time in their lives. Most of women live like. And if Francheska is situation comes to me, I will also have the same choice with her because it is what this world tells us to do.

I  grew in the education based on Confucianism in Korea. And that tells that women should serve her husband and have responsibility in raising children. But now, divorces from 60years olds are increasing. The reason why is because they are worried if their divorce will affect their children’s marriage, so they get divorced after their children’s marriage. Most of Korean women live their lives with worrying their children’s future not worrying their own life. Even though their husbands treat them unfair, and their children are about to marry, they cannot divorce because responsibility of women makes their unfair lives continue. But the women who divorced say like Francheska . ‘The fear grows by time passing, and as time goes, showing oneself is important.’

This movie came to me different this time. My age is about that woman’s age, and because I observed that my life is all about responsibility in this present not by love before. If love like this movie came to me I would choose to keep my emotion in my heart not abandoning my family. But I don’t know if I can tell my love to my children proud. As she said ‘The fear grows by time passing, and as time goes, showing oneself is important.’

There is a saying in Korea. ‘Others’ immoral love is immorality and my immoral love is a sad love story.’

Myth 0f Dan-Gun

HYOUNSOOK PARK(RACHEL)

When Hwanin (god of heaven)’s second son, Hwanung wanted to save the world, Hwanin gave Cheonbuin (mirror, bell, sword) to Hwanung to reign the world to have a bright future.

Hwanung went to Mt. Taebaek under the Sin-dan-su, and named that place ‘Sinsi’ and reigned world with many gods. One day female bear and male tiger came to Hwanung and asked him to make them human. So Hwanung gave them mugwort and garlic and told them to eat it for 100days. So tiger and bear went to cave and ate it. But tiger couldn’t endure it so he gave up. But the bear endured 100 days so she became human. But nobody wants to marry with her because she was a bear. So Hwanung married her. Their Child’s name is Dan-Gun. He went to Pyeongyang (now capital of North Korea), and raised a country named ‘Jo seon’. He changed the capital to Isadal, and he reigned 1,500years there.

At that time in Joseon, treated myth of Dan-Gun as a mother of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Seon-Gyo. Among these, Confucianism was a religion of Joseon for more than 500 years. Confucianism said men are greater than women, so they just treated women as tool for the offspring. So the men’s names were written on the genealogical table, but women’s names were not. Women’s name couldn’t be on their husband’s genealogical table also. So the women follow her father’s surname not husbands. The Confucianism tells women like this. Women should serve her father before marriage, and serve husband after the marriage. So they should marry with men whom their father chose. If women date with someone else instead of their father’s chosen men, that woman become impure woman and couldn’t marry with men of rich family. So women should see her husband at the wedding for first time. Women’s opinion was not important at all at that time. Women couldn’t have divorce or go to her family. But there is 3ways to be divorced. First, when women could not have baby, the husband can have 2nd wife to have a baby. Second, when the second wife feel jealousy to the first wife. And third, when women dishonored her husband’s family. So if women’s husband dies, she should stay in her husband’s house and serve for her mother-in-law. Remarriage is not allowed because it is dishonor to the family. Even she doesn’t have child, she should stay in her husband’s house and serve for her mother-in-law because the reason why her husband died is herself and because husband’s parents and my parents.

Korean men who lived in these situations ask women to obey them because the men are heaven and the women are earth. For the Hwangung, which is ancestor of men is god of heaven, and women’s ancestor is bear. And because of story of Hwangung married Ung-nyeo(which is name of woman from bear) by piety, men usually think they save women by marriage.

Korea asked my parents’ generation to obey and to serve without reasons. And women lived like that is their destiny.

I want to ask to those who underestimate women because of Confucianism.

If female bear gave up becoming a human, how could Joseon raised?

Men, who is very important part of Korea, and who is very underestimation women, are from whose vagina?

bomc

Bridges of Madison County

A movie review

Richelle Copon Toledo

Bridges of Madison County

Director: Clint Eastwood

While watching the movie, I feel so moved with the story, was touch how Francesca sacrifices her true love for her family and was brought to tears when she wanted to go with Robert in the traffic light scene but still did not. I think most women might feel the same way as I did. While my husband saw the movie, asked the gist of the story, and when he learned that it was about true love at the wrong time, his comment was “Yuck”. Yes, I believe too that most men will feel that same way as my husband do. But why?

Most women are in love in the thought of being in love. I think it is in our nature to enjoy loving or being loved. That’s why we always go for love stories.

The story of bridges of Madison County showed us another side of love. Francesca being a faithful and responsible mother and wife live simply in Iowa. She was contented until she met Robert Kincaid, the National Geographic photographer. Robert told her how his life being a photographer who travels a lot. And Francesca was amazed with his adventures that it caught her by surprised. Maybe she cannot imagine that a person can actually do things like that or she just wanted to do it by herself. She instantly felt connection with Robert. She even did not hesitate to show and make him feel that he is special. That there was something special going on with them. Even when Robert warned her that she might be just like Lucy who was the center of the talks of the town. Francesca was not afraid. She just wanted to feel that special feelings that she can only find with Robert.  She just wanted a part of Robert. She wanted to be loved intimately. And intimately, she was loved. I admire Francesca on her courage to take the risk and be with Robert, even when she knew that it can break her marriage, break her reputation and the worst, break her heart. I also admire her when she really wanted to go with Robert but did not, for the sake of her family. I like her being a loving mom, even when she was taken for granted sometime. I believe she was right that if she go with Robert, the love they had may changed and everything she had with Richard might vanish including her family. As the time passed, her love with Robert was still the same and her devotion to her family was still the same. Though I know she wanted to be with Robert, being separated with Robert and loving him at the same time make her stronger and live her life eagerly.

As I reflect with Francesca, as a wife I am wishing not to experienced the same situation with her. As of now, with my almost 2 years married life and 5 committed years to my  husband, i do not see reasons to leave or to find another life without him. Yes, I believe we are still in the chemistry stage of our relationship. Where we love each other. We laugh with each other. But possibility comes that i will go through the same with Francesca , I hope I will be courageous enough to stay with my man just like Francesca. As a mother, no doubt I will do the same with Francesca, I will not leave my children behind. They will always be on top of my priority.

For Robert, I was moved when he said the “that kind of certainty only comes once in a lifetime”. Maybe he meant, we are sure we love each other, we are sure we can love each other so let’s go, let’s live and love each other. At his age, when he was already a successful man, he found the one love that he can cherish but he knew from the start that he cannot have it. Though he tried to pursue Francesca, he respected her decision to stay. What I like about Robert is that he did not hesitate to share to Francesca what he was and who he was. He shared his life to her. A life that Francesca wanted. I was in tears when his package came to Francesca. That showed that he really loved the woman. It made me realized that even the most complicated love story can be real.

For Richard, maybe he was a simple and plain and clean man. But he was a good man. He knew Francesca have dreams and it is so good to him to ask forgiveness that he cannot give it to her. He loved her and that may soothe the after effect of Francesca not going with Robert. The fact that Richard had been a good man and really loved her was consolable.

The question now, is the thing between Francesca and Robert a betrayal? I have two answers to that.

1. Yes, our society and beliefs says so. Because Francesca was a married woman and had an affair with another man it is consider a betrayal. Francesca was right when she said this: “Robert, please. You don’t understand, no-one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you’re expected move again only you don’t remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you. ” Do other people, the society, the critiques knew about this? Do they feel this? Really no one can understand a situation like that but we can believe in a situation like that.

2. And NO. I believed he did not betray Richard because he never told Richard about it. He never wanted Richard to know about it. And even in his last breath, Richard never knew about it. He never wanted to hurt Richard because of it. Richard never felt betrayed. He was not betrayed. This answer might be wrong to others; the society will surely say it is wrong. But other people and the society must not dictate or control how people live. Just like how Francesca, Robert and Richard live their lives. They made choices and they live with it. We have choices. We make our decisions not other people or the society we belong to, or do we really belong to that society in the first place? We have to live with the decisions we made. No one can say to you that you are wrong and your life is a mess because of your choices. We just have to make our lives better from what we have and learn from what we have lost.

The love story in the movie Bridges of Madison country might be in a wrong time, but I believed it was right. Because love is always right. It is.

“But love won’t obey our expectations. Its mystery is pure and absolute. What Robert and I had, could not continue if we were together. What Richard and I shared would vanish if we were apart. But how I wanted to share this. How would our lives have changed if I had? Could anyone else have seen the beauty of it? “

-Francesca Johnson, Madison County, Iowa.1965.

buddhist woman

WOMEN and BUDDHISM

 Reported by: Richelle Copon Toledo

Background 

Discrimination against women is a feature common in all societies. The peculiar stigma attached to women all over the world  is based on religious bias.  “Woman” is depicted as a temptress and is warned against in almost all religions  of the world.  Woman’s basic stigma therefore originates in religion.

According to certain religious mythological concepts, man was introduced as the son of God, but woman never found a similar standing as the daughter of God.

Women have also been regarded as the source of all the sins of the world and have been blamed for the misfortunes of men in this world and the next.

If they were at all allowed to participate in religious practices, such participation was confined to their own homes, by attending to household religious ceremonies. Such hindrances and obstructions in the matter of moral and spiritual upliftment of women still exist in varying degrees in certain parts of the world, even though many barriers have been removed.

In contrast to such hindrances and bigoted religious practices, Buddhism can certainly claim to have the least discriminatory attitudes against women.

Buddhism opened the gates for the full participation of women in the field of religion by making them eligible for admission to what was known as the Bhikkhuni Sangha – the Order of Nuns – that truly opened to women new avenues of culture and social service and ample opportunities for public life. This brought to women recognition of their importance to society, and greatly enhanced their social status.

But in the beginning, as told in “The First Buddhist Women,” the Buddha originally refused to ordain women as nuns. He said that allowing women into the sangha (community) would cause his teachings to survive only half as long –- 500 years instead of a 1,000.

The Buddha’s cousin Ananda asked if there was any reason women could not realize enlightenment and enter Nirvana as well as men. The Buddha admitted there was no reason a woman could not be enlightened. “Women, Ananda, having gone forth are able to realize the fruit of stream-attainment or the fruit of once-returning or the fruit of non-returning or arahantship,” he said.

Unequal Rules for Nuns

The Vinaya-pitaka section of the Tripitaka (Pali Canon-Buddhist Scriptures) records the original rules of discipline for monks and nuns. A bhikkuni (nun) has rules in addition to those given to a bhikku (monk). These include subordination to monks; the most senior nuns are to be considered “junior” to a monk of one day.

Further, according to the canonical texts, before the Buddha allowed Pajapati (the first Buddhist woman, Buddha’s step mother and aunt) into the Sangha, she had to agree to eight Garudhammas, or grave rules, not required of men. These are:

  • A Bhikkuni (nun) even if she was in the Order for 100 years must respect a Bhikkhu (monk) even of a day’s standing.
  • A Bhikkuni must reside within 6 hours of traveling distance from the monastery where Bhikkhus reside for advice.
  • On Observance days a Bhikkhuni should consult the Bhikkhus.
  • A Bhikkhuni must spend rainy season retreats under the orders of both Bhikhus and Bhikkhunis.
  • A Bhikkhuni must live her life by both the orders.
  • A Bhikkhuni must on two years obtain the higher ordination (Upasampatha) by both Orders.
  • A Bhikkhuni cannot scold a Bhikkhu.
  • A Bhikkhuni cannot advise a Bhikkhu.

Nuns also have more rules to follow than monks. The Vinaya-pitaka lists about 250 rules for monks and 348 rules for nuns.

WOMAN’S NATURE

Despite the fact that the Buddha elevated the status of women, he was practical in his observations and advice given from time to time in that he realized the social and physiological differences that existed between men and women.  These were depicted in the Anguttara Nikaya and Samyutta Nikaya (Chapters in the Pali-Canon).

  • A man’s duty is his unending quest for knowledge, the improvement and stabilization of his skill and craftsmanship, and dedication to his work and ability to find the wherewithal for the maintenance and sustenance of his family. On the other hand it was stated, as a matter of fact, that it was the woman’s duty to look after the home, and to look after her husband.
  • The girls were enjoined to give every respect to their mothers-in-law  and  fathers-in-law, serving them lovingly as they would their own parents. They were requested to honor and respect their husband’s relatives and friends, thus creating a congenial and happy atmosphere in their new homes. They were also advised to study and understand their husband’s nature, ascertain their activities, character and temperament, and to be useful and co-operative at all times in their new homes. They should be polite, kind and watchful in their relationship with the servants and should safe-guard their husband’s earnings and see to it that all household expenditures were properly regularized. Such advice given by the Buddha more than twenty-five centuries ago, is still valuable today.
  • The handicaps and drawbacks under which women had to undergo in life were also clearly indicated. The suffering and agony to be borne by a woman in leaving her family after her marriage, and the difficulties and problems she had to encounter in trying to accommodate herself in a new environment, were the trials and tribulations she had to bear.
  • In addition to these problems, women were also subjected to physiological pains and sufferings during their menstrual periods, pregnancy and child-birth. These are natural phenomena depicting the differential situations and circumstances prevailing between men and women.

Although in certain sections of the Tripitaka some caustic comments were made on the wiles and behavior of women, the Buddha, in the Samyutta Nikaya (chapter in the Pali-Canon), did bring forth many redeeming features: under certain circumstances, women are considered more discerning and wise than men and women are also considered capable of attaining perfection or sainthood after treading the noble Eightfold path.

 

Buddhism Today

Today, Buddhist women in the West generally consider institutional sexism to be vestiges of Asian culture that can be surgically excised from dharma. Some western monastic orders are co-ed, with men and women following the same rules.

In Asia, nuns’ orders are working for better conditions and education, but in many countries they have a long way to go. Centuries of discrimination will not be undone overnight. Equality will be more of a struggle in some schools and cultures than in others.

References:

http://www.buddhistvihara.com/newsletters/2003-winter/status_of_women.htm

http://buddhism.about.com/od/becomingabuddhist/a/sexism.htm

en.wikipedia.org